For divorce attorneys, we get inquires all the time about divorce. Though, what may surprise many is that often those inquires are not how to divorce, but instead, they are about how to avoid divorce. And, over the years, some key tips have developed.
Married couples are on the same team
Especially for new couples, it can be hard to imagine, but over the years, some couples can forget they are on the same team. This means maintaining and strengthening that unity. This means communicating with one’s spouse to figure out how to keep that unity strong, which can include focusing on individual self-care and independence. This can seem counterintuitive, but it can truly help enhance a couple’s closeness and keep that spark alive. Just as important though is maintaining regular closeness, like not skipping date nights, even if that is just watching Netflix and sharing a bottle of wine. The key is focusing on the team dynamic.
Listen, really listen
Active listening is another key to successful relationships. This means not just waiting for one’s turn to speak. On the contrary, it means focusing on the other person and ensuring one’s spouse feels listened to. Reflect back what one’s spouse is saying. Reiterate what one is hearing, and let them see and hear that empathy. This can be key in maintaining a fulfilling and healthy relationship.
Do not skip the small stuff
Most people are surprised to hear that one of the most popular days to file for divorce is February 15, the day after Valentine’s Day. In fact, the industry calls this, “D-Day.” Though, there are many reasons for divorce, often, the straw that broke the camel’s back is yet another disappointing Valentine’s Day, especially if it follows a disappointing and stressful December holiday season. So, what can our clients learn from this? Take the time for each other and remember to keep wooing one’s spouse. Small gestures can be incredibly impactful, like breakfast in bed, bringing coffee home, random flowers and even, random texts of, “I love you” can go a long way in maintaining a strong bond.
What if it does not help?
For some Monroe, North Carolina, couples, it may be too late, and these tips may not work. For others, there may be other, bigger issues that these tips do not address. This is why we recommend, after couples seek counseling, contact a divorce attorney. After consulting with a divorce attorney, a couple may decide that it is or is not right for them, but at the very least, they will have the information they need to decide their next steps.